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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25533145">so close to being in love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatotyong/pseuds/potatotyong'>potatotyong</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>stories from a silver lining dotae au [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, Hurt, Kinda, M/M, My First AO3 Post, Sad Ending, i guess, only the end though</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:41:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,661</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25533145</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatotyong/pseuds/potatotyong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuta finally confesses his feelings to Taeyong, not expecting anything in return. Taeyong never expected Yuta to have feelings for him, but he's willing to give it a try.</p><p>Or: Yuta and Taeyong got more, and less, than they bargained for.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Taeyong/Nakamoto Yuta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>stories from a silver lining dotae au [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1850101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>so close to being in love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is a spin-off from my <a href="https://twitter.com/potatotyong/status/1281314350888706048">dotae social media au</a> "a silver lining" (it's a working title), but it can also be read as a standalone. the title is a line from ariana grande's almost is never enough. </p><p>this is my first time posting here, so any constructive feedback is appreciated! enjoy~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em>29th March 2018</em> </b>
</p><p>“I have a crush on you.”</p><p>“Wait, what?” replied Taeyong. </p><p>“Look, I know you don’t feel the same way,” Yuta said, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “But we’re graduating in 3 months and... I’m crazy about you. I thought it was just a small crush that would go away, but it never did, even when I was seeing other people.”</p><p>“Um… I really don’t know what to say, Yuta.” </p><p>“It’s okay, I’m not expecting anything from you. I just– I just wanted you to know.” Yuta was chewing on his lip, something he did when he was anxious. “Please don’t let this ruin our friendship, nothing has to change.” </p><p>--- </p><p>“So I’m guessing Yuta finally told you how he felt?” Johnny said as soon as he answered the call.</p><p>“Wait, you knew?” Taeyong replied. There was an audible sigh over the phone and Taeyong could picture his best friend with an exasperated look on his face.</p><p>“It’s not like Yuta was hiding it. You’re just oblivious.” Johnny responded. “But don’t feel bad. It’s okay if you don’t want anything more than friendship. Yuta knows where you both stand. I think he just wanted to get it out there, you know?”</p><p>--- </p><p>At night, Taeyong couldn’t stop thinking. Thinking about what Yuta said to him earlier. Yuta’s words echoed in his head. </p><p>The thing is, Taeyong had never considered Yuta as anything more than a friend. And he never thought Yuta would consider him more than that as well. To think that Yuta has had a crush on him for almost three years – was he really that oblivious?</p><p>Yuta would make a good boyfriend, there’s no denying that. Yuta was one of his most considerate friends. He was the one who constantly checked on Taeyong to see if he was doing well in his classes and stayed up with him in the library. Yuta was the one who helped Taeyong with the chores in their shared apartment because he knew how much Taeyong couldn’t stand the mess. It was Yuta who offered to bring his bed sheets to the laundromat when Taeyong was too busy during assignment week. Yuta was always the one who made sure Taeyong was awake when he had a morning class, knowing that Taeyong frequently slept through his alarms. </p><p>It was always Yuta, Taeyong realised.</p><p>Suddenly, these little things that Yuta did for him seemed to mean more. All this time, Taeyong thought that Yuta was just being a good friend. He tried to think of instances where Yuta did the same for Johnny.</p><p>Taeyong fell asleep before he could come up with anything. </p><p>
  <b> <em>1st April 2018</em> </b>
</p><p>“Yong, this better not be one of your stupid pranks.”</p><p>“I’ve already told you it’s not!” Taeyong retorted.</p><p>Minutes passed and Yuta stayed silent. The scene was strangely familiar, only reversed. Taeyong sat across from him in their favourite cafe. He had asked Yuta to meet up with him after class and Yuta agreed eagerly, relieved that he didn’t ruin their friendship after all. It was their first time meeting up, just the both of them, after Yuta had confessed his feelings.</p><p>“Yuta, are you really just going to leave me hanging?” Taeyong questioned.</p><p>“Uh… I– I’m in shock. I don’t know what to say.” replied Yuta, his eyes wide.</p><p>“How the tables have turned,” Taeyong teased with a smile on his face. He was still looking expectantly at Yuta.</p><p>“Yes,” Yuta breathed out. “Yes I’ll go on a date with you.”</p><p>“Oh thank god,” Taeyong let out a laugh and said “I was going to say it was an April Fool’s prank if you had said no.”</p><p>“Did you really think I’d change my mind that fast?”</p><p>“Yeah, maybe. Who knows?” Taeyong replied with a shrug. “Maybe you came to your senses and realised you didn’t like me after all.”</p><p>Why Taeyong would think that was beyond Yuta, but Taeyong had always been like that. Taeyong put himself down a lot; he was more sensitive and insecure than he let on and liked to brush off his emotions like they didn’t matter. Yuta hoped that he could change that.</p><p>
  <b> <em>1st June 2018</em> </b>
</p><p>It had been two months months since Taeyong asked Yuta out on a date. They both agreed to take it slow, not that they had a choice anyway. Taeyong and Yuta had only been on a handful of dates in between their busy schedule. Both of them were occupied with final exams and assignments – the last stretch before their graduation at the end of the month. They were moving slow, but things were going well.</p><p>Before they started dating, Taeyong thought Yuta was overly fond of skinship. That was nothing compared to how Yuta acted around him now. Holding hands. Cuddling. Hugs. Kisses. Yuta was now openly affectionate with Taeyong every chance he got. And Taeyong didn’t mind because it made Yuta happy. </p><p>Taeyong admitted he was hesitant at first, not wanting their friendship to change, afraid of ruining it, but Yuta never pushed Taeyong or pressured him. His feelings for Yuta were gradual, but if Taeyong was being honest to himself, he was falling more each day. Maybe, it was time to take their relationship to the next step, he thought to himself.</p><p>---</p><p>“Hey, you,” Yuta greeted Taeyong as he entered their apartment. “What are you watching?”</p><p>“Just browsing,” Taeyong answered lazily from the couch. “Come here.”</p><p>Yuta made his way to the couch and placed a soft kiss on Taeyong’s lips. “Missed you, Yongie.” he said, letting out a sigh of content in Taeyong’s neck.</p><p>“Do you want to watch something?” Taeyong asked.</p><p>“Hmm, maybe later.” </p><p>“Oh?” Taeyong was surprised, Yuta was usually never one to turn down a movie. “Is there something else you want to do then?”</p><p>“Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” Yuta could feel Taeyong stiffen under him as he said that. Well, it’s now or never, he thought to himself. “Uh, earlier last month I got scouted by an agent from a modelling agency.”</p><p>“Last month?” Taeyong shifted and Yuta disentangled himself from Taeyong, giving him space to sit up. </p><p>“Yeah,” Yuta replied, biting the inside of his cheeks. He was nervous, but he pushed on. “They asked if I was interested in signing with their agency – a six month contract to start with.”</p><p>“Oh! That’s great, Yuta!” Taeyong perked up. “Are you taking their offer?”</p><p>“So… Here’s the thing…” replied Yuta. “They want me to start right after graduation.”</p><p>“Oh… That sucks,” said Taeyong, as he placed his hand over Yuta’s. </p><p>It was in his 2nd year when Yuta realised that he didn’t want to practice law, but he continued his studies for the sake of getting that precious piece of paper. He had been planning to take a gap year after graduation when this opportunity fell into his lap. Modelling wasn’t something that Yuta had considered. He was studying law, for god’s sake. Modelling was as far a profession from being a lawyer as you could get. And maybe that was the reason why Yuta found himself agreeing to it.</p><p>“I told them yes.” Yuta winced slightly as he said it, bracing himself for Taeyong’s reaction.</p><p>“Wait, you’re not going on our trip?” Taeyong sat up straighter, looking confused. “And you’re only telling me now?”</p><p>Yuta knew that he should’ve told Taeyong earlier, but the longer he waited, the more difficult it became. Yuta was always careful around Taeyong – some would say too careful. Johnny often accused Yuta of coddling Taeyong, but Yuta didn’t mind. He always considered Taeyong’s feelings first, choosing his words carefully, not wanting to hurt the other’s feelings. And so, he kept telling himself it wasn’t the right time, that he didn’t want to ruin the moment, and before he knew it, a month had passed.</p><p>And there’s more.</p><p>“The modelling agency… Their clients are based in Japan.” Yuta could feel the frown on Taeyong’s face before he even looked up. </p><p>“You’re leaving. Right after graduation.” Taeyong finally responded after a minute of silence.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Yuta replied in a small voice. “I just… I didn’t know how to tell you.”</p><p>“You had over a month to tell me, Yuta.”</p><p>“I know, I know. But it’s only for six months,” Yuta replied. “I’ll be back before you know it.”</p><p>“You know how I feel about long distance relationships.”</p><p>Yuta knows. He knows how Taeyong doesn’t like the idea of long distance relationships. To him, a relationship is about two people being <em> together. </em> He needs to <em> feel </em> the comfort of another. The presence of another person gives Taeyong a sense of security. He needs it, needs the reassurance of someone being there. Yuta knows it, and maybe that’s why it took him so long to tell Taeyong. It was inevitable.</p><p>“I don’t think this is going to work out.” Taeyong’s voice was steady, but his eyes were starting to fill with tears.</p><p>“Yongie… Please,” Yuta reasoned. “We can try to work things out. It’s just 6 months. You can visit me, it’s not like I’m moving across the world.”</p><p>“No, Yuta,” said Taeyong. “It’s not just that. You had over a month to tell me. We’re graduating at the end of the month. We were supposed to be going to Taiwan right after. Now you’re not only cancelling on me, you’re telling me you won’t be around for six months?”</p><p>“I– I know I fucked up. But please, I don’t want to lose you. We’re good for each other,” Yuta’s voice cracked as he continued, “We can make it work.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Yuta. I think it’s best if we just stopped seeing each other right now, before we fall any deeper.” <em> Too late</em>, Taeyong thought silently to himself. </p><p>“You don’t even want to try?” The hurt in Yuta’s voice was evident. “Are you really just going to give up on us like that?” </p><p>“There is no us, Yuta. We’re not together.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i have no idea how models are scouted and how modelling works i'm sorry. but i hope this gives you a little insight into yutae's relationship and their dynamics.</p><p>there are some unsaid things and unresolved issues between the both of them + events that happened in between their "breakup" and graduation, but i'm planning to unveil more of that in the AU, hence why some parts may be a little vague here.</p><p>thank you for reading! feedback and kudos appreciated! &lt;3</p><p>find me on <a href="https://twitter.com/potatotyong">twitter</a> &amp; <a href="https://curiouscat.qa/potatotyong">cc</a>! ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ</p></blockquote></div></div>
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